


take me home

by panicmoonwalker



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Babies, F/M, Fluff, Parenthood, Pregnancy, general softness, ill try not to get angsty here, maybe some random aus thrown in there
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2020-03-13
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:54:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 16,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21572563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panicmoonwalker/pseuds/panicmoonwalker
Summary: Love?? Marriage??? Babies in a baby carriage???? That’s where Jake and Amy are - in all three of those scenarios.((another collection of many of horribly soft and fluffy one shots))
Relationships: Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago
Comments: 72
Kudos: 211





	1. compulsive

**Author's Note:**

> it’s 1am and i’m on a bus back to osaka about to go back home and i couldn’t sleep and this idea has been in my head forever so here we are !!!!
> 
> i don’t know how often i’ll update this but i’ll try to update whenever i get soft ideas and i’m sure with season 7 coming up there will be A LOT!
> 
> anyways enjoy my bus tears transformed into words

Jake Peralta is a compulsive shopper. 

From massage chairs to  _ more  _ massage chairs, if Jake sees something he wants, he gets it. This debt inducing habit lessens when he started dating Amy, but not even her rational thinking effect could stop him at times. Only two months into their relationship Jake had bought an  _ actual lightsaber _ . Not the fake plastic ones for children, but the ones that look  _ so  _ real that even Amy geeked out a little when she saw it. 

Marriage had brought this habit to almost a complete halt. With Amy’s master budgeting, Jake still had a little money to spend on whatever he wanted, but even he had just been putting it into savings for their  _ future _ . 

Their future involving a family, a new house for their family to grow one day. Amy couldn’t be more proud of how he had matured, still managing to keep the goofy personality that she fell in love with. She falls more in love with him every day, and she doesn’t want the feeling to ever go away. 

So she thinks her heart might explode the day they figure out she’s pregnant. They had been trying for just under six months, and he had been  _ so  _ involved in her binders and her anxieties. He was there every step of the way, to listen to her fears and discussing the best positions for conceiving before making a very appropriate _ title of your sextape _ joke. When she realised they were out of pregnancy tests, he sprinted to the bodega and back in under ten minutes so they could  _ know _ . 

When the timer is up, he’s finally caught his breath but immediately loses it again when Amy is nodding her head frantically, a smile stretched on her face and fat tears falling down her cheeks. He spends some time with her crying on the bathroom floor before he’s rushing to get the pregnancy binder they had been working on together. So they spend the day reading the crap out of the binder, making doctors appointments,  _ more _ research. 

This is when Jake’s dangerous habit makes a comeback. 

A bout of sickness had come over her in the late afternoon, leaving her exhausted beyond what she could possibly understand. Except she understood, because of the reading. 

Amy last remembers resting her head on Jake’s lap, one of his hands stroking her hair while the other held his phone, still researching while a movie played in the background. 

It’s dark outside when she awakes. Jake now has his laptop balanced on one leg while her head still rests on the other. Amy groans, burying her face in his stomach as she stretches her limbs out. “I don’t know if I like pregnancy.” 

“It’s only been a day, Ames, give it a chance.” Jake teases, his spare hand moving back to stroke loose strands of hair out of her face. “Good morning, babe.”

“You feel this tired and nauseous for a day and see how you feel.” Amy sighs, a smile still unable to stay off her face at the feeling of his hands in her hair. “What time is it?”

“8:30?” Jake guesses, before looking at his screen and confirming it with a nod. “Yikes, I’ve been on Amazon for three hours.”

“I’ve been out for  _ three hours _ ?” Amy gasps, “I haven’t napped this hard since I got the flu in college and had to ask for…  _ an extension _ .”

Jake takes a moment to laugh at how upset she still was about extending a paper all those years ago. “Okay, nerd. You’ve actually been asleep for about four and a half hours.”

“Four and a half hours?” Jake flinches at her screech but quickly recovers. “Why didn’t you wake me?”

“It’s been a big day. You needed it.” Jake shrugs with a smile, “Plus I tried. You were  _ passed out _ . Almost took you to the hospital but your breathing was fine.”

“I love you, weirdo.” Amy kisses him quickly before looking at the laptop screen. “Jake-”

“Now before you say anything-”

“Jake, you have 27 things in your cart!” 

“It’s all important, I promise!”

Amy snatches the laptop out of his grip, scrolling quickly through the contents of the list. All baby things. Mostly onesies, but also a few books, a rattle. Amy then looks at the onesies. Novelty ones, of course. 

_ Dad’s a muggle, mam’s a witch.  _

_ I still live with my parents.  _

_ World’s most expensive alarm clock.  _

_ I pooped today! _

_ Yippee ki-yay mother father _

Those were her favourites. Amy can’t decide if she’s furious or overwhelmed by love for the worst compulsive shopper she’s met in her life. 

“I was gonna get rid of most of them, but they’re all so cute, Ames!” Jake pleads, chewing slightly on the inside of his cheek. “I mean  _ Yippee ki-yay mother father _ !? That might be the best thing ever.” 

“I like the Harry Potter ones.” Amy mumbles, “Although you wouldn’t be a muggle, you’d be a wonderful wizard.” 

“ _ Please _ , I could kick Harry’s ass any day.” Jake scoffs. 

“Okay,  _ sure _ , you could kick the chosen one’s ass.” Amy rolls her eyes affectionately, messing up his hair up slightly. “Anyway, we can’t get any of this.”

“ _ Amy. _ ”

“ _ Jacob. _ ”

“Pleeeeease!” 

“Jake, you’re spiralling.” Amy says sternly, “We need to have our doctors appointment first. It could be a false positive, an ectopic pregnancy-”

“Amy, you know that won’t happen.” Jake closes the laptop and puts it on the coffee table so he can take her hands. 

“It could.” Amy shrugs, “Look, I’m just being cautious. And even so, we’d make a registry so other people can buy us things.”

“Ohh, you’re so smart.” Jake laughs, happy to change subjects. “Let me just get the  _ Die Hard _ and  _ Harry Potter _ ones?”

“I don’t want to enable this compulsive shopping habit.” Amy tells him, “We’ll end up with seven different breast pumps.”

“We’re going to end up with seven different breast pumps because of Charles, you know that.” Amy snorts lightly at this, “Ames, I promise you aren’t enabling a habit. Just those two things.”

“Okay.” Amy picks up the laptop again happily, “Just these two things.”

~

Amy was foolish. She was a fool in love with a compulsive shopper. 

To be fair, it could be  _ much worse _ . The big important things, he leaves for the registry. But when it comes to clothes and books, he was out of control. Especially after they find out they’re having a girl. 

Amy’s growing love for her husband overpowers her annoyance at the Amazon deliveries every other week. Jake almost always has a shopping tab open on his laptop  _ and _ his work computer. She knows that Charles also enables it, makes it worse even. 

But Jake agrees to run every purchase by her so he doesn’t get anything completely unnecessary. So arriving home early one afternoon she’s surprised (but completely  _ not _ shocked at all) to see a package she doesn’t recognise in their mailbox. It’s not Amazon. 

Strange. 

So she makes her way upstairs, collapsing on the couch with her hand resting on her small bump and resting for a moment before picking up the package again. Ripping the package open, a quiet gasp leaves her mouth and she feels herself immediately tear up at the soft book in her hands. 

_ Animal Crosswords.  _

On the back, the small description tells her the book contained mini crosswords to  _ help toddlers learn their animals while having fun _ . At the bottom they advertise other books such as  _ Colourful Crosswords  _ and  _ Shape Crosswords _ . 

It was perfect. Amy didn’t bother to stop the tears as she flipped through the book. 

One across,  _ an animal that goes ‘oink’ _ . Four down,  _ an animal that goes ‘baa’ _ .

Amy loves Jake,  _ so much _ . Jake loves their kid,  _ so much _ . She can barely comprehend every emotion she’s feeling, and it’s not long before she’s sobbing. 

This was easily Jake’s best purchase. Everything he bought was less compulsive and more thoughtful. The massage chairs back when they weren’t together were still compulsive, but it had transformed. It transformed into thoughtful, wonderful, adorable purchases. Amy was so lucky, and so was their baby. 

Amy calms down to soft hiccups by the time Jake walks through their front door a half hour later. His panic has him immediately on his knees next to her, wiping the dried tears off her cheeks and frantically asking if she was okay. This starts a fresh wave of tears, but she’s almost smiling and giggling which changes his concern to confusion. 

Being the detective he is, he soon spots the book in her hands and groans, “Damn it, I was gonna surprise you with that. I know I didn’t approve it w-”

Amy interrupts him with a kiss, his cheeks and mouth soon soaked with the tears that just  _ don’t stop coming _ . “I hate hormones.”

“They’re definitely weird.” Jake chuckles nervously, “Do you like it?”

“I  _ love  _ it.” Amy laughs, wiping her cheeks again. “Where did you find this?”

“ _ Etsy _ .” Jake tells her, “Homemade crafts and shit, Rosa told me about it. I suspect she sells jewellery on there.”

“Oh  _ definitely _ .” Amy agrees, “I’ve been looking for it for a year.”

“Anyway, I just got one for now because I wanted to know what you thought about it.” Jake’s hand moves to her stomach as he speaks. “I know it’s not very useful for her for a little while but she’s half you so she’s destined to be a bit nerdy like her mom.”

“I love it, Jake. It’s so thoughtful, that’s why I’m so emotional.” Amy runs her fingers through his hair, smiling again when he presses a kiss to the top of her stomach. 

“Also hormones.” Jake teases, another kiss to the side of her belly where they could both feel her kicking. “I’m glad though, because I contacted the account about making a spanish version for her.”

Amy whimpers as she tries to stop more tears from falling. “Really?”  “Of course, it’s a great way to teach her I thought. And Rachel, the creator, agreed.”

“How l did I get such a perfect husband?” Amy drags him to eye level so she can kiss him softly. “And the perfect dad already, she’s not even born.”

Jake shrugs, poking her nose and her bump. “Being the perfect husband is easy. Because you deserve the world. Both of you. My girls.”


	2. all i want for christmas is your name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our favourite and usually very smart and not deliriously tired detectives attempt to come up with their newborn baby's name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here is 1/2 of my christmas works! the other is for mmotfe and will be coming soon after this :) i'm all up in my christmas feelings, it feel goooood!

Everyone expects baby Peralta-Santiago to arrive early. It’s a Santiago child, they’re all early. Amy had expected, or _hoped_ , that early meant after Christmas but before the new year. That’s not the case. 

She instead decides to begin her journey into the world on the coldest night of the year, only four days from Christmas. Amy feels the first contractions at 4am, after spending the whole night attempting to find a comfortable position. All the while Jake snores next to her, _taunting her_. 

She can’t bring herself to be genuinely angry at him - not yet. Jake had been nothing but supportive and excited for their baby, he had been since they decided to start trying. They were having a _girl_. It had shocked everyone but Amy and she had been three hundred dollars richer for it. He had cried with her at the ultrasound when they found out were having a girl. Jake also stayed up late with her, gave her massages at her demand, provided her with every craving she had. He may not be carrying a 10-pound human (maybe an exaggeration, Amy couldn’t tell) inside him, but he deserved his rest as much as she did. 

So she lets him sleep until the contractions are close enough to worry, but it doesn’t take long until they hurt bad enough to dig her nails into his arm. “Ames?”

“B-baby.” Amy winces again before sucking in a deep breath as the contraction slowly subsides. 

“Is something wrong?” Amy shakes her head, “Is… Is she coming, Ames? Was that a contraction?”

“Yep.” Amy laughs, finally smiling at Jake’s concerned features. “Nine days early, she’s really outdoing the rest of the Santiago’s.”

“David couldn’t beat you at this if he _tried_.” Jake encourages with a teasing grin. “We’re having our baby?”

“We’re having our baby.” Amy cries happily, shifting closer to him so he can wrap his arms around her, “I love you.”

The next 15 hours are a blur. Jake is a lot calmer than she expected - not like in every movie or TV show ever where the dad freaks out and faints at the sight of anything gooey - but he stays calm, he guides her through her breathing exercises and offers physical support when she needs it. Jake gets the nurse to back off when she congratulates them on a Christmas baby, because he knew how stressed she was about the dessert she definitely wasn’t bringing for Christmas. He’s really the perfect partner. 

Amy remembers the days of feelings simmering just under the surface and thinking to herself, _Jake is way too immature. It would never work_ . Before Jake, Amy thought that being right was everything. Against David, Amy always had to be right and could never lose an argument without lowkey being the end of the world for her. She had never liked being wrong, but she wears this misconception with a badge of pride because there is _no one_ else Amy could imagine or _want_ to do all this with. 

Jake Peralta was her person. And they had a baby girl together. 

A baby girl born at 7:37pm on December 21st. Seven pounds, twenty inches. A baby girl whom they keep calling Baby Girl Peralta-Santiago because she had been cursed with decisive cops as parents who were apparently indecisive in every other way. 

It’s not really at the top of their priorities - they’re busting adoring every inch of her wriggling in her mother’s arms. Amy traces with her finger the dark hair that peaks from under her hospital issued beanie, over her eyebrows and past her blinking and confused eyes down to her cheeks, nose, lips and chin. “She’s actually your twin, you’re just born many years apart. This is a scientific discovery, babe!” 

Amy rolls her eyes at his quiet enthusiasm, her fingers moving back to stroke their daughters cheeks. “Santiago’s just have strong genes.”

“That’s why you’re all so gorgeous of course. Thanks Victor and Camila!” Jake slides closer behind Amy so she can rest her head against him, and both of them are able to watch their daughter attempt to focus on _something_. “What’s your name, mija?”

The post baby hormones are almost more of a bitch than her pregnancy, so she has to take a moment to pull herself together at Jake saying _mija_ to their _daughter_. “Por favor, no te pongas de acuerdo con Naomi. He just wants to name you after Nakatomi plaza and we have to stick together so he can’t trick us!” 

“Oh _please_ , Ames. You were the one trying to name her Hermione.” Jake scoffs, “She’s gonna end up being Baby Girl forever. We can’t even make that work! People will think we’re trying to copy _Friends_!”

“Her name is definitely not baby girl. We’re going to figure it out, let’s just enjoy her and fall asleep.”

~ 

They leave the hospital without a name. The nurse informs them that they have two weeks to decide and get the paperwork in. But the time restriction somehow stresses her out more than picking the perfect name, combined with Christmas being in two days and not having any presents or an outfit for her to wear. 

Jake holds her hand the whole time she rants, just as he always did, his eyes shifting occasionally to the tiny newborn sleeping in the bassinet next to their bed. “Ames, take a deep breath. I’m almost certain she’ll forgive us if she doesn’t have any presents at four days old, and Charles already told me he found four potential Christmas outfits.”

“What would I do without Charles?” Amy sighs happily, turning to run a hand through Jake’s sleepy curls. “What would I do without _you_?” 

Jake leans forward so their foreheads were touching, both leaning into the quiet moment with only their breathing and tiny baby snores and grunts in the background. He kisses the side of her mouth, his heart warming as a small but tired smile creeps on her face. “We should probably sleep while she’s sleeping.”

“I still have so much to prepare.” Amy whines, her head falling down to his shoulder. 

“Just a little nap, Ames. I’m sure she’ll be screaming at us soon enough for the boob.”

~

It’s a lot of the same for them. Sleep, feed baby girl with no name, change diaper, attempt to think about Christmas, sleep more, eat when Charles comes over with food, brainstorm baby names, and sometimes even more sleep. 

A tradition of their own since they had moved in together was to stay in on Christmas Eve, watching _Harry Potter_ and stay up till midnight so they could open each other’s presents - it was a little harder this year. Jake was holding a milk drunk, almost four day old baby in one arm while his other was wrapped around his half asleep wife, trying himself not to fall asleep while Harry fought off Voldemort for the first time. 

Even when he wasn’t nodding off himself, his eyes were usually on the baby in his arms. Charles had gone all out in the baby Christmas outfit department. She had on a thick red headband with a bow on the side, snowflakes printed all over with matching pants, a onesie that read ‘My 1st Christmas!’ and a knitted cardigan over the top to keep her warm. Jake was afraid of the parents he and Amy were becoming, because they both _loved_ it. She looked so _cheesy_ but it was the cutest thing in the world, and they even did their own mini photoshoot before she started screaming to be fed. 

So here Jake was, surrounded by his family - a milk drunk baby and his wife fast asleep on his shoulder. The baby in his arm begins to squirm, grunting and opening her eyes. “Cómo te llamas, mija?” Jake’s heart warms as she meets his eyes, “Angelica? Eliza? Peggy? Or no Schyler sister names?”

“Absolutely not.” Amy mumbles next to him, eyes still closed. 

“Eliza isn’t a bad name.” Jake replies with a frown. 

Amy opens her eyes, stretching and looking at their baby. “She doesn’t look like an Eliza.”

At that, she grunts and her face contorts in a grimace. 

“Gotcha, no Eliza.” Jake snorts, both him and Amy watched in amazement as she continues to grimace before closing her eyes again and smiling. “Ames! She smiled, definitely not Eliza! She must have hated Eliza.”

“That, or she passed gas.” Amy giggles, pinching her nose. “Hey, look at the time.”

“ _Midnight_! Happy Christmas!” Jake whispers, stroking her cheek lightly before turning to peck Amy on the lips. “Merry Christmas, I love you.”

“Merry Christmas…” Amy sighs happily, closing her eyes again for a moment. “Already four days old and she’s about to face the most chaotic day of the year.”

“We can just skip it?” Jake questions, his voice squeaking as he tries to believe his own words. “I know it’s crazy, but who expects us to go out with a four day old for more than half an hour?”

“ _My parents_ is who.” She shakes her head, “Maybe we can be late?”

“Wow you _are_ sleep deprived.” Jake laughs softly, “What if we’re late _and_ we leave early?”

“You’re talking crazy talk now!” Amy snorts, biting her lip as to not disturb the sleeping baby. “I’m getting sick of calling her baby girl, seriously.”

Jake nods in agreement and they fall into a peaceful silence, with only the sounds of the city and _Harry Potter_ in the background. She never thought it would be _this_ impossible to choose a name for their baby. The baby wrapped up in Jake’s arms was too perfect to have their name rushed. 

The time they spent _trying_ , and waiting for results and keeping it a secret from Boyle - it all lead to this moment. Not so much her being born, even though that was a _huge_ deal, but being given her name. She had to live with it for whole life (unless she _wanted to change it_ \- they had both been very adamant in supporting this potential for their daughters future). Maybe they were overthinking it, and the fact that they’ve had a combined thirteen hours sleep in the last two days wasn’t helping them make a choice. 

“Maybe we should revisit some names?” Jake offers, and Amy’s certain he’s read her mind.

“Okay, yeah. Good idea.” Amy agrees, “But no Naomi.”

“Yeah! I get it! Naomi’s out of the picture!” Jake tips his head back in laughter, which wakes the infant in his arms. They’re lucky she doesn’t cry, but just stares up at her father again. “Good you’re awake, we need your help.”

“Now should we go over the suggestions from the squad?” Amy looks to her phone, which has an extensive list. 

“I mean, Rosa’s suggestion is _Kid_ and Charles insists on _Charlotte_ , so no?” Jake shifts the baby so she’s resting on his bent knees. This way she’s able to attempt to look at the both of them while fighting off sleep again. “I think I have an idea…”

“Do tell.” Amy’s not looking at him but looping her pointer finger so she can grip tightly onto it. 

“So I thought Luna-”

“Jake we agreed _no character names_!” Amy groans, pouting up at him.

“I _know_ but hear me out, Ames. I’ve thought about this.” Jake’s eyes begin to shimmer, either from tiredness or pure affection, she can’t tell but she knows he’s sincere. “So I thought Luna Rey, for a few reasons. So first, they both have a meaning in Spanish, right?”

“Moon King?” Amy snorts, “That barely makes sense.”

“Ah, but they have meaning. Rey has more of a meaning of Captain Holt to me, and he’s your mentor and best friend after- nevermind he’s your best friend. But also Captain Holt is basically king of the precinct, so it totally works.” Amy can’t really fight that, so she nods and waits for him to continue. “ And Luna, because, well you probably don’t remember because you were deliriously tired but there was a full moon the night she was born. And I stood with her in my arms by the window and just thought about how beautiful they both were. Our baby, and the moon - except she’s prettier. So Spanish meaning, boom!

Okay... So, uh, reason one was basically all my reasons meshed together, and I’m too tired to put up a proper argument for you right now _however_ , my final statement. Luna Rey Santiago-Peralta, has both personal and cultural meaning while also happening to be named after two _badass_ characters that we both love. Rey and Luna Lovegood. Debate over.”

Amy’s lack of sleep is the only reason she’s unable to keep the tears at bay as she laughs at her husband. The first time she had heard the name Luna, she had been so vehemently against it but now after hearing Jake’s case, she can’t remember those protests. 

“Luna? Es ese es tu nombre?” Amy whispers, her heart expanding five sizes as she says it out loud. She doesn’t react like the last time, but she does attempt to pull Amy’s finger into her mouth. “Luna Rey Santiago-Peralta.”

“We’d like to formally apologise for giving you too long of a name.” Jake chuckes, “Do you really like it?”

“Yes, I do.” Amy sniffles, smiling at him brightly. “I’ve really turned you into a debate genius.”

“Only for Luna. It’s what she deserves.” Jake teases with a kiss to Amy’s nose before his eyes drift back to Luna. “It’s really her first Christmas, I’m too tired to process any of this.”

“Happy Christmas, Luna.” 

“The happiest of Christmases, to both of you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wanted to dedicated this to Moni at the start of the chapter but it would have given it away. But anyway, this is for Moni, the queen of the Luna nation (rise up).
> 
> ANYWAYS, happy holidays to you all! 
> 
> as always, i appreciate your thoughts and feelings <3


	3. christmas sweater

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake looks back on the moment he fell in love with Amy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i thought maybe i was done with soft christmas one shots after the last but definitely not!!!!
> 
> this is 1/3 gifts dedicated to my McAngst Holes!! this one is for Jo <3

Jake has told Amy about the moment he knew he’d marry her a thousand times. She loves hearing it, and it was so was  _ them  _ that he never really got sick of telling her the story. 

So he’s almost completely thrown when she asks him for a different story, seven years into their marriage. 

“When did you realise you loved me?” 

He slowly lets the newspaper fall into his lap, the crossword they had been doing together already forgotten. “I’ve loved you for so long I’d really have to think about it, Ames.”

Amy is playing with the curls on the back of his head as he thought; and it takes a moment to remember. He’s loved her for almost ten years, so to pinpoint one moment he  _ knew _ was hard. There had been so many moments where his love for her was reaffirmed; anytime she went along with his jokes, the day she shot him in the leg to save him, when they actually got married, when she went through many hours of labour to have their children. 

Amy falls asleep on his shoulder before he can figure out his answer. It made sense, she was tired, being pregnant with their third child. She needed all the rest to deal with throwing up twice a day while dealing with a five and a two year old. Jake did all he could to help, kept the kids occupied as long as he could but that meant he couldn’t be there to hold her hair back. 

She reassured him that he was doing a brilliant job, even if she had to hold her own hair back at least she didn’t have two kids screaming in their bathroom as it happened. 

He loved her so damn much - but he couldn’t figure out her question, when?

The answer comes to him as he’s digging through an old box a few days later, scavenging for more sweaters because their kids had inherited their mother's genes of being cold all the time. Even when the heat was blasting and they all had layers of blankets over them already. 

But he finds it, the ugliest sweater ever created. 

It was covered in crooked snowflakes and Christmas colours that didn’t quite match. It had been their first Christmas as a couple and she had recently taken up knitting. Not soon enough apparently. 

He remembers walking into the precinct to find her focused so intensely on the needles and wool in front of her, a tutorial video playing off her phone, as she probably waited for the exact minute she could start work. Spotting Jake, she rushed to stuff the equipment into her work bag and locks her phone all while trying to seem very casual. 

With Jake’s curiosity piqued, he interrogates her in the most flirtatious way possible until he finds out  _ she had been knitting for him _ . Amy had been blushing so hard that he dropped it, pretending to forget so she would stop freaking out even if it was the cutest thing in the world. In reality he was so excited to see what she was making him, and it also made him feel the need to step his Christmas game up. So gone was the boogie board he’d originally bought for their six month anniversary out of indecisiveness and back to the hell mall with hell people during the hellish holiday season. 

He ended up getting her an expensive nerdy stationary set he saw her eyeing while shopping for her own families gifts. It wasn’t an adorable homemade gift that he was beyond excited for, but he knew she’d like it anyway. 

Jake struggled to stifle his laughter when he first saw the sweater. He’d ruined the paper in his excitement so he had zero control over his facial expressions. Amy deserved all the credit for  _ trying _ considering it was the first thing she had ever knitted to completion. 

The more he observed the uneven snowflakes across the sweater, the more it hit him. He was so completely in love with Amy Santiago. 

His entire body heated up with the realisation, so much so that he was ready to take his hoodie off in her heated apartment. Jake had liked Amy for a very long time, and he knew he was falling in love with her. But looking up at her concerned face after observing it for a minute,  _ he knew. _

He loved this sweater and he loved  _ her.  _

There was no doubt about it. He was truly lost for words for once in his life and he knew she was panicking with the lack of his reaction. So he just kisses her, soft and quick but with the purest of emotion behind it. 

Jake loved Amy Santiago, a woman who was great at many things. Just not cooking or knitting. 

Those skills had since improved exponentially over the years. Amy had set her mind to it and now with great focus she could cook anything she wanted. Her knitting skills were still a bit rough, but she didn’t dedicate as much time to it - especially after her disastrous second attempt for Charles’ birthday (even though Charles was allergic to the brand of wool she had bought, so it wasn’t her fault). 

He doesn’t know when the sweater had been put into storage to be forgotten about, but he was glad for this extremely cold January morning to find it. 

“Daddy, what’s taking you so long!?” Their second born is growling from the blankets with Amy, and it starts a chorus of all of them complaining about being cold. 

He then rushes to slip the sweater on before running with the other old NYPD hoodies to make sure his family was so toasty they’d probably start sweating. 

“That sweater is ugly.” Luna grimaces, holding her hand to her mouth to stop herself from laughing as he had to do years ago and Amy is blushing just as much as she did all those years ago. 

“Hey! Don’t be rude, Luna, you’re mom made this.” Jake brags, wagging his brows in Amy’s direction. 

Luna works even harder to hide her giggles, but Amy begins to tickle her and the laughter rips out of her. It starts an afternoon of crazy shenanigans which leads to Amy attempting to show Luna how to knit. 

Jake has their son passed out on his chest next to Amy. He has to be careful when he leans over to tell her. “This is how I knew, by the way.”

“What’s that?” Amy hums, her needles still as she looks towards him. 

“Getting this sweater, this is when I knew I loved you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was very short and not what i’m used to but i also enjoyed just writing something super short so i really hope you enjoyed!
> 
> kudos and comments put bread on the table!! or more like happiness in my heart!!!


	4. snow storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> au where jake and amy drive home from college together but oops! there's a snow storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's a lot of little tropes mixed in here but i couldnt go too deep without it turning into a 10k fic but we love jake and amy bonding over star wars!!
> 
> there are no star wars spoilers though so read freely!
> 
> this is joey's (late) christmas present!!!! love you dude<3

“Jake, the storm is only getting worse.”

Amy can barely see outside, the fog so dense that she’s holding on to any solid part of the car to prepare for the worst. “I’ve only met your mom twice but she’s scary so I’m  _ not  _ getting you home late.”

“I think my mom would appreciate it more if I made it home alive.” Amy retorts, scrolling through her phone slowly “We’ve been carpooling this trip for 2 years and the weather has never been this bad… And look! I just found a B&B half a mile from here!”

“Ugh  _ fine _ ,” Jake huffs, “But I’m indulging in the mini bar and won’t take  _ any  _ judgement!”

“Okay, waste your money. I’m just going to do the wise thing and sleep now that there are no finals to worry about.” Amy tells him, “Turn left.”

“Please, I know you’ve already started your little study calendar thingy on your desk.” Jake follows her directions with ease, laughing.

Amy had been introduced to Jake through their mutual friend Rosa in their first year of college. Amy had known Rosa her entire life, their moms having bonded through night classes years before they were born and they had been inseparable since. This then made Amy and Rosa inseparable. So when Rosa took up criminal psychology in her first year of college, Rosa met Jake and thus Amy made an acquaintance with him.

She was certain if they had met under different circumstances they would either be best friends  _ or _ Amy would avoid him because he was just a certain type of annoying. The type being unbearably  _ obsessed _ with Die Hard and not really knowing when to shut up about it. But they hung out on a semi regular occurrence, so they were  _ good  _ acquaintances. 

Their arrangement was convenient. They were both at university in Brooklyn and unlike Rosa’s family, their family did  _ not  _ move from New Jersey to be closer to them. So every summer, every Christmas and every spring break they would drive home and back to college together. 

And now she was going to be stuck with Jake in a B&B until the storm cleared. 

It wasn’t the end of the world, no - Amy  _ did  _ like Jake. Most of the time they hung out together they were either drunk or they were drunk with Rosa. The two and a half hour drive usually was spent with light chatter where Jake would eventually fall asleep or Amy would start reading. 

Stuck in a snowstorm, together, with no alcohol.

It wouldn’t be bad, she just thought it was going to be  _ interesting. _ The nervous feeling only builds once they arrive at the B&B and learn that the only room they have available is one with a double bed.  _ One _ double bed. 

Jake acts like it’s no big deal, they were adults and could maturely share a bed without it being a whole thing. Amy’s read fanfiction, it’s  _ always a thing.  _ She doesn’t mention anything though because she knew one thing definitively; Jake would never let it go. 

He still remembered (and brought up quite frequently) that she was the  _ Finger Queen _ at typing camp one year. So there was no bringing up the  _ Star Wars  _ fanfiction she read on occasion; or worse, the one time she wrote one herself. 

Jake didn’t lie when he said he would raid the mini fridge. Immediately he took out the drinks and snacks and dumped them on the bed, following them by jumping gracefully into the soft bed. 

“What exactly is your plan?” Amy snorts, placing her own bag gently by the bedside table and sitting next to him. 

“Get drunk, watch  _ Die Hard _ probably.” Jake shrugs simply as he finds the remote. “Then fall asleep snuggled by your side to keep warm from the horrible storm.”

“Do you like  _ any _ movie but  _ Die Hard? _ ” Amy shakes her head, disguising her disgust so that he doesn’t straight up die from shock. “We’re absolutely not watching it.”

“Of course I like other movies!” Jake retorts with a light chuckle, “I just love  _ Die Hard. _ ”

“Oh god.” Amy finally rolls properly onto the bed, burying her face into the pillow. 

“Okay, another movie I like…” Jake ponders, and he’s quiet for a few minutes which catches Amy’s attention. “OH!  _ Star Wars! _ My mom wants to see the new one with me when I get home.”

“Are you serious Jake?” Amy groans, her complete attention now on him. “All these years and you’ve been talking about  _ Die Hard _ non-stop when we could have been talking about  _ Star Wars? _ You’re actually messing with me.”

“It’s never come up!” Jake starts giggling, tipping his head back as the laughter gets stronger. 

“That’s because you  _ never shut up  _ about  _ Die Hard. _ ” Jake only mimics her face in reply, “Why don’t we watch it? I just got Disney plus last week.”

“Oh?” Jake raised an eyebrow at her, “I did the free trial but I have no money. Zero dollars. College sucks.”

“Maybe you’d have money if you didn’t take everything from the minibar.” 

“This is my Christmas present to myself!” Jake counters, turning the TV on.

“I’m not even gonna respond to that.” Amy rolls off the bed again to take out her laptop and it’s only a few short minutes before the beginning notes of the movie plays on the mediocre flat screen in front of them.

“Do you have any theories for the next-” Amy quickly shushes him, not so gently covering his mouth with her hand.

“Not surprised you’re a talker but don’t.” Amy whispers, “I like to hear to movie, we can talk  _ after. _ ”

She’s surprised that he stays quiet for the remainder of the movie. Jake was without fail the loudest person she knew, louder than her brothers. There were only a few comments and laughs shared between them - it even got flirty between them. Amy had never spent this much time alone with Jake and she didn’t expect them to get along without them being drunk. But they were both sober (he finally admitted he couldn’t afford the mini bar) and he was telling every dumb  _ Star Wars _ joke ever said - she was genuinely having a good time. 

Things only got weird again when she starts yawning and he’s suggesting they go to bed. It had been a good night so there was no reason that had to change. Amy would be an adult about it, and maybe she was actually wrong about Jake being an immature child obsessed with an action movie. Jake was a smart and capable adult, compassionate and funny and obsessed with an action movie to no end. 

Climbing into bed, Jake is already facing her propped up on his arm. “Now that we aren’t watching the movie wanna talk about theories?”

“Okay, hit me.” Amy shifts so she’s in the same position.

With her permission, he launches into a long spiel of theories. Ones he had seen on the internet and some that he thought of himself when he had been putting off his study. “But my favourite part of the sequels are Finn and Poe, and I know Disney sucks so they probably won’t get together but I have this whole idea of how they  _ could. _ ”

Jake continues to ramble on about his idea, and her stomach drops as he continues because she  _ knew _ this idea all too well. It was one of her favourite fanfictions. But there was no way - no way there was a not awkward way to ask, and no way  _ Jake _ could write a story  _ so beautiful. _

“Jake, I have a strange question.” Amy sits up, twisting her hands.

“What is it?” Jake looks concerned at the change of her behaviour and that only makes her more nervous.

“Did you write  _ blink back to let me know? _ Th-the story?” Amy avoids his eyes, so she doesn’t see them crinkle up as he begins to laugh.

“Who would’ve guessed? Amy Santiago is a big enough of a nerd to read fanfiction!” Jake prods at her twisted hands to gain her attention. “I did write that. Small world, huh?”

“You’re not embarrassed?”

“No, I love Finn and Poe  _ a lot. _ ” Jake levels himself to Amy. “It’s just a fun hobby.”

“A  _ hobby? _ That is my favourite fanfic, Jake. You’re amazing!” Amy waves her hands around, obviously flustered. “You’re  _ you _ and you wrote  _ that _ and it’s so  _ beautiful _ but it came from  _ your  _ weirdo brain! I just need a sec.”

“The most important thing is  _ did you give me kudos? _ ” Jake teases.

“Jake it’s literally bookmarked on my phone.” Amy makes a move to prove it and his draw drops when he sees it open on her phone.

“I’m flattered!”

“I’m so confused.”

“Oh come on!” Jake scoffs with another laugh, “Surely it’s not  _ that _ surprising that I have an adorably romantic side to me!”

“It’s completely surprising!” Amy sucked in a breath when he winked at her, “But I like it.”

~

Amy isn’t surprised to find herself cuddled to Jake when she wakes up.  _ Stupid tropes that Jake apparently loves to write about. _

She couldn’t help that it was freezing and needed the extra body heat to stay alive in the old B&B. Looking outside she finds that the storm had fizzled out and their landscape was completely covered in fluffy white snow. It would be a little while before they would be able to leave; she can  _ hear _ the snow plow a few streets over so as soon as it cleared the street they were on, they could leave. 

Jake is still asleep when she exits the bathroom, dressed and ready for the day. He was almost as cute asleep as he was when he went on about his stories. Even when he didn’t shut up about  _ Die Hard _ he was cute.

Usually Amy didn’t care for crushes. No guy was ever enticing enough for her to want to get all giggly over. But right now Amy wanted to press kisses on his face until he woke up and smiled the dumb dopey grin he did when he would fall asleep in the car. She remembers thinking he was cute then, but never thought to act on it, he was too immature.

“Morning writer boy.” Amy pokes his cheek a few times, laughing as he attempts to snuggle further into the bed. “Come on, we need to be ready to leave soon.”

Jake makes extremely unintelligible noises and it has Amy rolling her eyes, “Words of a poet.”

He takes a pillow next to him, throwing it at Amy as he rolls out of bed. It takes him only a few minutes to walk to the bathroom, so Amy was hopeful that they would be able to check out by the deadline. Jake takes an extra five minutes over the check out time but the old lady at reception gives them a break, calling them an adorable couple as they arrive at the desk bickering. 

“Hey, uh, since the street hasn’t been cleared…” Jake turns to Amy after he closes the trunk of her car. Amy tilts her head at him, and she has to hide her smile because his nervousness was making  _ her _ nervous. “Do you wanna go see  _ Star Wars? _ ”

Amy lets out a short laugh, “I… What about your mom?”

“I think she’d be fine if I saw it with someone else if she knew it was a date…” Jake shrugs at her, and his blush was most certainly  _ not _ from the cold. “The movie theatre is a just a couple of blocks away.”

“A date?” Amy tucks the loose strands of hair back behind her ears, and her heart is beating so loud and this is  _ not _ what she expected from a road trip with Jake.

“I, uh, it’s okay if you don’t wanna!” Jake trips over his words for a moment, “I just think you’re super cool and I’ve thought about it for ages but I thought you didn’t like me or something and last night…”

Amy interrupts him with a step forward and a soft peck to his cheek. It turns out he could go more pink. “I’d love to go on a date with you.”

Jake offers his arm and she takes the hint quickly, her arm sliding around his bicep. “Now do you wanna make bets on who they’re gonna kill off?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love the little fourth wall break i did there and the idea of jake writing fanfiction makes me cackle but i really hope you enjoyed!!!
> 
> i hope everyone had a wonderful christmas/hanukkah and 2019! i am going to try get my last christmas one shot out before 2020... but i will 100% be back with meet me on the fire escape in 2020 with many shenanigans planned :)
> 
> kudos and comments are the best holiday presents just saying :P


	5. new years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> au where amy's brothers screw her over and invite her ex-boyfriend to NYE 2019

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my final and late christmas gift to my bb Becca! i love you so much girl and i hope you enjoy this<3
> 
> there is some lowkey angst here but nothing like my other angst ._.

“What the fuck is Jake Peralta doing in our house?”

Amy had dragged her two oldest brothers into the kitchen, her thoughts moving a million miles a second. Whichever of her brothers invited her ex-boyfriend to their family New Year party was going to  _ pay. _ She reminded her brothers that her  _ new _ boyfriend was coming, to warn them not to embarrass her - they somehow exceeded that far beyond her expectations. 

“He was telling me on the phone that his mom was going on a cruise and he was going to be  _ all alone, _ Amy.” Her oldest brother Luis breaks free from her grasp, leaning on the bench behind him. “Come on, you see Jake at work every day you can’t be  _ that _ mad at me.”

"I am mad!" Amy hisses, being at work and being at their parents’ house was different. "My ex boyfriend AND my current boyfriend are in that room with OUR parents!"

"Okay, but how we hang out with him and you focus on Teddy!" Tony offers, "I promise this will be the best New Years of your life! There's no need to start braiding your hair!" 

"This better not bite me in the ass." Amy growls again, shooing them out of the kitchen to give herself a moment to breathe.

"Better not bite me in the ass title of your sex tape..." Amy lets out a breathy laugh at her ex-boyfriends joke. "I'm sorry if them inviting me upset you.”

Jake walks closer to her, and she thinks this might be the closest they’ve been since they broke up almost a year ago. “No it’s fine, you don’t want to be alone on New Years - it sucks.”

Amy remembers infinite other New Years she spent alone; with her family but then leaving soon after midnight and going to bed alone. The memory of the previous countdown to midnight struggles to stay in the back of her mind. Jake laughing and joking with her brothers, making a good impression with her parents and most importantly he spent the night showering Amy with love. They left early that night, but Amy wasn’t alone. 

“I was told that you approved of me coming.” Jake shifts awkwardly on his feet, “I honestly wouldn’t have come if i knew Tod wasn’t coming or if you didn’t want me here or whatever.”

“It’s Teddy…” Amy corrects softly. 

“Maybe I shouldn’t be here.” Jake looks like the embodiment of discomfort, so much that he struggles to maintain eye contact. “I’m sorry, Amy.”

He begins to turn away from her, but a moment later her brain clicks into gear and she’s holding him by the wrist. “Stay. I don’t want you to be alone.”

Jake stares down at her hand, the energy in the room changing rapidly to an intensity she remembers from what feels like a millenia ago. His jaw begins to clench when he finally looks up at her, and her chest only tightens. 

“Hey Amyyyy!” Her obviously drunk younger brother is yelling from the other room, “Can you bring me the mayonnaise? I need change Teddy’s universe!”

Amy drops her hand from his wrist, rushing to the cupboard to get what her brother needed. “You can leave if you want, but I would like it a lot more if you stayed.”

~

Jake does stay. He  _ stays _ out of Amy and Teddy’s way, that’s what he does. Luis and Tony, his favourite of Amy’s brothers, feed him beer after beer. Even though they’d both told Jake repeatedly that he should be with Amy, they do their best to distract him from how happy she looks with Teddy. 

He remembers to clearly, no matter how drunk he is, when Amy first told him about Teddy. Kylie had introduced them at trivia night and they apparently hit it off. One date turned into four, then they updated their dumb Facebook status and they were  _ together.  _ Jake tried to hide his bitterness, but when he was alone and he wouldn’t be able to sleep for the third consecutive hour, he couldn’t help but scroll to months earlier when they had posted about their relationship. 

**Charles Boyle** : IT FINALLY HAPPENED!!!!!! I TOLD YOU DIDNT I?????

**Terry Jeffords** : Happy for you both!

**Gina Linetti** : Yay no more nerd tension just cutesy nerd crap. Also Rosa says dope. 

**Karen Peralta** : I always thought you liked her! I’m very happy to see you two together x

Where it all went wrong is something Jake struggles to define. Maybe it was his inability to have an emotional conversation without saying _noice_ or _smort._ Jake couldn’t blame her; he was a mess and she was _Amy._

The alcohol in his system made it easier to bear when the clock strikes midnight and everyone is cheering  _ HAPPY NEW YEAR _ , especially when he sees Teddy kiss Amy. They decided  _ together _ that it was a good idea to break up, he can’t be upset that she moved on. Jake doesn’t expect what comes next; Teddy gathering her entire family around him and Amy, before slowly sinking to one knee. 

Jake feels light headed watching it unfold, and the jealousy goes from a light simmer to boiling violently inside of him. He was not at his ex-girlfriends parents’ house watching her new boyfriend propose to him as in the first minutes of the New Year. 

“Amy, I love you so much.” Teddy pulls out the ring from his pocket, taking a deep breath before he continues. “I know we’ve only been together for seven months but I’ve never been happier than I am when I’m with you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and  _ I know _ we haven’t talked about this but I was wondering… Will you marry me?”

Amy is frozen in place; the moment Teddy had pulled out the ring he had been watching  _ her _ and the shock plastered on her face was solid. His heart shatters into a million pieces once she finally lifts her head to meet his gaze.  _ Now _ he can see the tears swimming in her eyes, the light of the campfire making it all the more obvious. 

_ What was she thinking? _

“No.” Amy breathes out, ripping her gaze from Jake and looking at Teddy’s falling face. “I- Teddy, I’m sorry… I-I can’t.”

~

_ “Do you want to get married one day?” Amy’s question is sudden, and certainly not what Jake expects when they’re hanging out on the couch eating Chinese.  _

_ “Ames, are you proposing?” Jake does his usual deflecting, trying to rid himself of emotional talk with humour. “Usually a girl would get down on one knee to do this.” _

_ “ _ No, _ dumbass.” Amy rolls her eyes, hiding a smile. “I’m not trying to pressure you or anything. I was just wondering if you’ve ever thought of it.” _

_ “Uh, yeah, I guess.” Jake shrugs, his heart beating out of his chest as he looks directly at her, “I want to get married one day.” _

~

Amy sprints back into the house as soon as she gets the words out.  _ What the hell was Teddy thinking? _

Proposing to her. In front of her whole family. On New Years. After seven months of dating. The worst part was her ex-boyfriend standing behind her brothers, looking devastated like nothing else could go right in the world. 

She manages to get into her bedroom without fainting from the lack of air in her lungs. What a start to the year. Her head buried in her pillow, she can’t get Jake’s face out of her head.  _ Why did they break up? _ The feelings she had for him had remained buried since she met Teddy and her relationship with Teddy was  _ fine. _

Amy knew Jake’s feelings were just as strong, hence his unabashed heartbreak and she’s never been more confused about anything.  _ Did they make a mistake? Wasting the last eight months being  _ just colleagues? 

She expects that maybe her dad, or one of her older brothers, would come to talk her out of her spiral. Teddy was even possible. But when Jake walks through the door, she couldn’t be more relieved. Despite their entire relationship and fall out of said relationship; they were still partners, still each others confidants. 

“Hi.” Amy wipes her nose with the back of her hand, her eyes wandering around the room before landing on him again.

“Do you wanna talk about it or do you need some classic Jake Peralta defecting humour?” Jake sits next to her laid out form, watching as she giggles weakly and sits up.

Amy struggles to find the words to explain her precise feelings on the matter, but with another deep breath and a groan, she rests her head on Jake’s shoulder. “What the fuck is 2020 so far?”

“Welcome to the 20’s,  _ darlin’. _ ” Jake imitates, and it makes Amy genuinely cackle. “A new decade, huh?”

“I don’t think I love Teddy.” Amy blurts out, “Not as much-”

She shakes her head, and Jake seems even more attentive. “Ames…”

“What are we doing?” Amy huffs, “What were we thinking when we broke up? I loved you and I know you maybe loved me but we just fucked up. Tonight is making it more clear, ugh, you know this is the first time we’ve been together without the squad being there to buffer?”

“I know…” Jake is looking at his hands now, “I did love you. I’m sorry I could never share my emotions good.”

“I’m sorry too.”

“What are you gonna say to Teddy?” Jake asks gently.

“I can’t marry him - can’t  _ be _ with him - not when…” Amy slides her hand over his twisted hands, “Not when I still love you.”

“We’re dumb.” Jake snorts, “We really- I love you too.”

Amy moves her hand to his jaw, turning his face so she can kiss him for the first time in eight months. They were in a decade but if felt like the past months hadn’t happened and they never broke up. Teddy wasn’t downstairs waiting for her to come down with her reasoning for rejecting him - for which she had a large list she had begun writing a few days earlier, starting with his uninteresting personality. 

Jake’s fingers were tangled in her hair as he tried to deepen the kiss, but Amy turns her head so that he’s kissing her jaw. “Say it again.”

His smile grows as he leans back enough that their foreheads touch, “I love you.”

“Wanna hear my 2020 resolution?” Jake nods, and her heart explodes with warmth at the look he had been holding back since they broke up. “It’s to not fuck this up again.”

“Oh my god,  _ samesies. _ ” Jake replies dramatically, and Amy can’t hold back the barking laughter.

“Okay, and 2020 is also the time to get rid of the word samesies.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEAR YO!!!! i hope 2020 is a great year for everyone and i know its gonna be full of writing and happy peraltiago timez
> 
> kudos and comments are highly appreciated<3


	6. love knows no boundaries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy dabs in front of Jake for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: contains very minor spoilers for s7 bc this is inspired by something that happens in a sneak peek
> 
> this is just a short lil drabble because i needed a story reset in my brain for mmotfe!! but also i can't stop thinking about this sneak peek and certain things specifically that are seen in said sneak peek and i'm gonna stop rambling and let you read before i spiral any further oop
> 
> enjoy!

Amy Santiago just dabbed.

Jake kind of feels like he’s dreaming, or on drugs. Maybe even a drug induced nightmare. He watches plenty of  _ Fortnite  _ compilations when he can’t sleep at night, you know guns and strategy, but his least favourite part of the game are the (easiest) dance moves. 

Here they were, on the couch watching  _ Jeopardy  _ and his wife, Amy Santiago, just dabbed because she got an answer right over him. Everyone knows that Amy is a monster when it comes to  _ Jeopardy  _ but this is the last thing he would expect from her. 

“Gotta dab on the haterz.” Amy raises her eyebrows and smiles pridefully, crossing her arms as she relaxes back into his open arms.

“I- haterz, dabbing- what?” The laughter bubbles out of him as he continues to process what he just witnessed. “Ames, I can’t tell if you were being serious or if you’re being ironic.”

“I was completely serious.” Amy sits up again so she can turn to look at him properly. “You insisted the answer was California but it was Texas.”

“Sometimes I forget you know that you’re more intelligent in the area of most populous U.S. cities in one state.” Jake rolls his eyes with a snort, “I’m joking, I didn’t forget.”

“We’ve known each other how many years? I would be concerned if you forgot that I know more about everything.”

“Oh, shush. I know things.” Jake pulls her back into his arms, pressing a kiss to her ear. “Who even told you how to dab?”

“Oh please, it’s not hard to lift your arms and turn your head.” Amy scoffs sarcastically, wrapping her arms around his middle. “Mason showed me.”

“It’s always Mason.” Jake booms with laughter.

“He told me to dab whenever I win something, and I had to say ‘dab on the haterz’ with a z because it’s the best way to say anything dumb.” Amy laughs with him, suddenly shy about her new knowledge. “Don’t tell the squad I did that. Or Gina. Especially not Gina.”

“I can’t help the telepathic bond we have, because I already told her in my mind.” Jake teases and Amy pouts, “Okay I won’t tell Gina.”

“Pinky swear?” Amy exaggerates her pout, holding out her pinky.

“I solemnly swear. Not even if I was extremely inebriated by alcohol.” Jake giggles with a poke to her nose before he loops his pinky with hers.

“Oh no, she’s going to know within a week.”

“No, I’m really not telling her, Ames.”

“Okay buddy... Says the guy who told everyone about the time you broke your arm playing  _ Peter Pan  _ in third grade.” Amy nudges him again with a snort, “Did I mention I’m so glad we went out for drinks last week instead of staying in?”

“I’m proud of that performance, thank you very much.” Jake tuts.

“Uhuh, sure babe.” Amy is focused on the TV again, the ad break almost over and readying herself to get all the answers correct as per usual.

“Okay, well Ames, I love you so much.” Jake sucks in a breath, “But never dab again for the sake of all that is good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANYWAY SO YEAH i have many amy santiago dabbing memes on my phone and its my new favourite thing about my favourite girl 
> 
> i also wanted to share my twitter (@cptnsantiago) bc i talk about my fics there a quite bit
> 
> pls share your thoughts!


	7. binders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> takes place post 7x02 - jake makes up for having to pay a crap ton of damages

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHHHHHHHHHH HOW GREAT WAS THE SEASON PREMIERE YALL THEY'RE GONNA BE PARENNNNNNNNNTS
> 
> those episodes left me soft af so im basically a puddle so this just fell out of my brain
> 
> enjoy!!!!

So  _ maybe _ Jake shouldn’t have tried to villainise Captain Kim.

It wasn’t his fault, really. It was the limo driver boyfriends’ faults. Regardless, it landed him with his wife berating him about the consequences leading to him having to pay 3700 dollars in damages to their now ex-Captain.

At the end of the day, he tells Amy he needs to make a detour before they get home and she agrees, reluctantly. She’s still pretty annoyed but he’s almost certain this will get him back on her good side. 

_ Binders. _

Not just any regular binder though, the one she had talked about  _ all _ morning after the party. Amy had very casually mentioned the stationary store they were being sold at and even if he wasn’t trying to gain her forgiveness, she really deserved a new fancy binder. 

She perks up very quickly when she recognises the route to the store in question. “Why are we going to the stationary store? Did you use up your sticky pad sending notes to Charles again?”

“ _ No! _ ” Jake scoffs half convincingly, “We have  _ phones _ for notes now, Ames, they’re called text messages.”

“Sure, babe.” Amy rolls her eyes affectionately, “Why are we here then? I don’t need anything.”

“It’s a surprise.”

Jake know he’s piqued her interest no matter how hard she was trying to hide it, willingly holding his hand as he went to the counter to secretively speak with the woman stationed there. Amy can’t hold back her giggle as Jake then drags her to a familiar aisle with binders stacked floor to ceiling.

“Is binders really a surprise? It’s my favourite section.” Amy rattles off, shrugging as her eyes drift, awestruck as always to each row of binder. 

“Come here.” Jake takes further down the aisle, their hands still threaded together.

Amy soon spots a group of binders that she had never seen before, but had  _ definitely _ heard of. She does remember Margot telling her that they had  _ just _ been released in stores, and Amy hadn’t been to buy a new binder in almost two weeks. “They’re so gorgeous.”

“I figured I'd make it up to you for being such a jerk at the party, you know, that we could get a few.” Jake shrugs, melting at the sight of her contained excitement. “I even had an idea of what to use one for.”

“Do share.” Amy looks up from the binder in her hands with an enthusiastic grin.

“Two words. Baby. Binder.” Jake shakes his hands in a dramatic fashion, his own excitement flaring up when when her eyes darken.

“Baby binder, huh?” Amy wets her bottom lip before looking down at the binder again. “Mama likey.”

“I knew mama would likey.” Jake teases before cringing at himself, an arm gently wrapping around her shoulder. “What do you think?”

“I think it’s the perfect binder for this occasion.” Amy’s voice softens as she turns in his arms. “These are the strongest tabs I’ve ever seen?”

“The  _ strongest?! _ ” Jake had never been more shocked, genuinely, and this earns him a soft kiss from Amy before she resumes picking out the right binder.

Forgiveness: achieved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didn't think i'd be a fan of writing drabbles after episodes but it turns out!! i!! am!!
> 
> thoughts?? on episodes OR the fic i don't mind really


	8. sweet valentine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentine's day arrives with a discovery which leaves Amy upset.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have NO idea what the timeline of season 7 is but lets roll with it ladies and gents 😁
> 
> HAPPY VALENTINES!!!!! this has been in my brain for a few days now so here we go! enjoy!
> 
> also its a lil sad but nothing like my other angst so i thought it was okay to put it here!!

This time when Amy thinks she’s pregnant it’s not so panic inducing.

In fact, the butterflies are so intense that she might be sick. Is that morning sickness? Or it’s Hitchcock’s  _ new _ cologne with some obscure and creepy name. She doesn’t know, but the facts are: her period is late, they’ve been trying for four months and Hitchcock needs to get away from her before she pukes on him.

It’s lucky that she took a half-day just to prepare for their Valentine’s day - which mostly consisted of preparing a meal that didn’t taste like trash and picking the best movies since she was  _ supposed _ to be on her period and feeling like utter crap. It’s much more preferable than going out.

Their Valentine’s are usually lame like this, since her period had been precise like this for longer than she can remember so she had spent every Valentine’s with miserable cramps. Since being with Jake, they’d always found their way around the night being miserable and she really hadn’t had a bad Valentine’s since. 

But her period was  _ late _ and they were  _ trying _ and she was _ sick. _ So maybe Amy was freaking out a little bit, but in a good way this time. She didn’t have to worry about how Jake would react because he would be on the exact some boat as her waiting for a positive result. 

She had considered going home and sticking with the original plans of preparing the night, but the idea of surprising him with this on the most romantic holiday (other than Halloween for them, of course) brought her more excitement than Amy could possibly handle.

It’s foolish of her almost, to be so certain that she’s pregnant that she goes to the dollar store to get a small box and tissue paper so she could make a romantic gift out of it. The supplies are sitting on their bed, ready to be wrapped for her husband in approximately two minutes.

It was the first time she genuinely thought she might be pregnant since they started trying, so seeing  _ ‘Not Pregnant’ _ written on the test hits differently. Every test and period came with deep disappointment from the both of them, but their morale remained high because of the facts they read in the binder. 

_ It can take up to a year even for a healthy couple to conceive. _

The nausea from Hitchcock’s cologne was so convincing and her breasts had been  _ so _ sore that morning with no period to be seen. Amy had to assume that this new cologne was worse than  _ Zika _ and just really made her feel sick from the scent. Her breasts aching wasn’t an irregular symptom either, since they usually came right before her period.

It just sucked. Jake was ready,  _ they _ were ready. She just wanted to have a baby with her best friend already. A little baby that was both herself and Jake;  _ god  _ she hoped their baby had Jake’s smile. Taking their baby for a walk in the park, where Jake promises to take her there one day so he can teach her to ride a bike (and of course, in the later years he’ll teach her to skateboard if he can figure it out first). Sunday mornings in bed with their kid and the crossword puzzle which they all figure out together before they put on cartoons.

It’s all she wants but she has to way another stupid month to possibly be pregnant.

With the test thrown in the trash, Amy has all the intention in the world to begin preparation for their night in. But the couch with the fluffy blanket calls to her in the most appealing way. Five minutes, she tells herself, she can allow herself five minutes to relax. 

Next thing she knows, Jake is gently shaking her shoulder, softly telling her to wake up. Opening her eyes, she can immediately read his concern before noticing how dark it was outside.  _ How long had she been asleep? _

“Babe, are you okay?” Jake strokes her cheek softly with a thumb, “I was really freaked out when the entire apartment was dark and silent.”

“Yeah, I’m okay. I just…” Amy sighs as she sits up, Jake still kneeling in front of her. “Today I  _ really  _ thought I was pregnant but the test came back negative.” 

“Oh…” Jake’s face had brightened only for a second before he’s frowning, the small crinkle between his brows returning. “Are you okay though?”

“Yeah…” Amy shrugs, “I got a little over excited, thought I would surprise you with the news and it would’ve been  _ so cute _ on Valentine’s day.”

“It’s not gonna matter how you tell me or how we find out.” Jake folds her hands up in his own, lifting so he can press kisses to both of them. “No matter what, we’re having a baby. And I’ve never been more excited for anything.”

“Right, we’re having a baby.” Amy heart swells at the mere thought of it once again, and her husbands radiant positivity wipes out any disappointment she was feeling only minutes ago.

“That’s the endgame.” Jake reassures with a confident smile, “Another month of trying is a breeze. It’s going to happen for us.”

“I love you.” Amy takes a deep breath as she buries her head in his neck. “Also we need to talk to someone about Hitchcock’s cologne experimentation.”

“Love you too and I couldn’t agree more.” Jake chortles, “It’s truly horrendous.”

It’s another few minutes before Amy notices the paper bag on their coffee table with two takeaway cups next to it. He knows her  _ so  _ well, and has for a long time. There was really no telling when Amy would get pregnant, but they were the perfect team for when they finally do bring a child into the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> incredibly cheesy ending but i have zero regrets! they're in love and they're gonna be parents so,, yeah 🥺
> 
> please!! share your thoughts in the comments!!


	9. first snow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> based on a tumblr prompt, “One little shoe. Two little shoes. All ready to go out.”
> 
> Jake and Amy take their baby girl out for her first outing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can't stop having meltdowns about jake and amy being parents that turn into drabbles somebody STOP ME.
> 
> anyway enjoy my short lil 1k meltdown

Jake isn’t entirely sure what made them think this was a good idea. 

They had been running on a combined five and a half hours of sleep every night for the past three weeks since Luna had been born. It turned out, quite unfortunately for Jake and Amy, that their daughter loved the night time. She specifically  _ loved  _ to scream at night time until she had her parents almost in tears because of how tired they were.

Logistically thinking, going on a walk on the first snowy day of the year whilst extremely sleep deprived was probably their worst idea since they invested in a blender that they  _ never use. _ But watching his wife wrap their daughter up in the snuggest of winter clothing made his heart swell a thousand sizes larger than what was physically and even metaphorically possible. What can he say? It’s the first snow of the season and they’re excited. 

Luna is not so much. She’s fussy and absolutely does not want to have booties put on over her socks. “Come on, Luna. Momma just wants you to be warm!”

She lets out another loud whine, kicking at Amy’s hands as she attempts to slide the bootie Amy had knitted herself onto their daughters foot. Jake finally moves from his spot in the doorway, determined to make this outing happen. 

“Jake, she hates me.” Amy whines, resting her head on his shoulder as he takes the one unsuccessful bootie from her hands. “Luna hates my knitting and my boobs and the only thing she liked me for was my warm uterus.”

“Ames, please, she  _ loves  _ your boobs.” Jake reassures her with a gentle rub to her shoulder, “It was just a rough night last night.”

“Rough doesn’t quite describe what last night was.” Amy sighs, stroking Luna’s belly to calm her down. “I feel like my mom was lying when she said me and my brothers were easy babies.”

“Agreed, I think she’s a magical baby whisperer.” Jake jested, pressing a kiss to the top of Amy’s head. “We’re getting the hang of this.”

“If I was getting the hang of this then I could put a freaking bootie on her.” Amy groans again, burying her face into his chest.

Amy stays in that position for a few minutes as Jake fights his daughter’s foot, eventually sighing in defeat, hugging his wife as Luna continues to fuss on the changing table in front of him. “Should we just stay home?”

“I haven’t been outside for more than five minutes since we got back from the hospital.” Amy cries, almost hysterically. “This will be good for us, plus being cooped up inside is giving me a new appreciation for snow and the cold and fresh air.”

“Amy Santiago  _ wants _ to be cold?” Jake gasps dramatically, “Motherhood hath changed ye.”

“Shut up.” Amy rolls her eyes with a short laugh, snatching the bootie out of Jake’s hands once again. “Okay, Luna. It’s time to put our shoes on.”

She still fights it a bit, kicking her foot as Amy slides it on. Luna finally calms down once Amy slides the beanie over her soft hair, closing her eyes and quickly letting out soft baby snores. “One little shoe. Two little shoes. All ready to go out!”

“She will never cease to amaze me.” Jake comments quietly as Amy slides Luna up into arms effortlessly, not disturbing her at all. 

“Maybe I am getting the hang of this…” Amy’s smile is just as bright as the moment she first held Luna in her arms, holding her close so she can kiss Luna’s face lightly.

“You’re killing motherhood babe —wait, that sounds weird, whatever. And you have been for over nine months.” Jake tells her so sincerely, her eyebrows turning upwards the way they did when he poured his heart out. “Here, let me take a photo. You’re matching.”

The surprise is evident on her face as she realises this for herself as Jake takes his phone out from his pocket. Amy lets him take a few photos, smiling and kissing Luna as she continues to sleepily grunt and snore.

“Hello, new lockscreen.” Jake pokes out his tongue to the side as he carefully adjusts the photo on his phone before turning it to show Amy.

“Jake this is the thirty-seventh time you’ve changed your lockscreen in three weeks.” Amy giggles, walking out to their living room, Luna still cradled in her arms. “You will have to settle on one eventually.” 

“Hey! I kept the one of you two right after she was born for at least a week.” Jake defends himself proudly, “Plus I can’t help that I have the most gorgeous, smart wife and amazingly fussy and beautiful daughter in the whole entire world.”

“I’ll give you that.” Amy places Luna carefully into the stroller, making sure she’s strapped in correctly before turning to Jake. “Ready for our first walk as a family?”

It turns out that Luna, no matter how snug and wrapped in blankets she was, also hated the cold. They barely made it to the park before Luna began wailing. She had also been hungry, so after breastfeeding Luna in the freezing cold snow, Amy was also ready to be inside a heated building again. 

Jake does manage to get a mini photoshoot in after burping her, where Luna looks only mildly upset in Amy’s arms as snow flurries around them. They walk in silence on their way home, Luna making quiet grunts as she observes her limited surroundings now that she was properly awake. The simple thought of going back to work in just over a week breaks his heart. Jake would rather let all the criminals in Brooklyn run free if it meant he could stay inside with his wife and daughter, never leaving their side. 

“I’m proud of us, Ames.” Jake narrates as they walk through the front door, “We were outside for a whole thirty minutes.”

But alas, crime didn’t stop for any hero. And that meant for Jake Peralta, he would continue to fight crime detective stylez to keep their world safe for Luna. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments are highly appreciated!!


	10. i would give it all, i would sacrifice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the day jake and amy bought their medium sized champagne sedan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here i am with another meltdown piece. i gotta say thanks to the jimmy jabs for surpassing all my expectations and also to alex for having a two hour long meltdown with me that led to this!
> 
> enjoy!
> 
> title from everything i do by bryan adams

It was the final ride.

Maybe it was dramatic to be narrating in his head like it was some huge life altering finale to something, but surely he was allowed to be dramatic about getting a new car. It wasn’t  _ just _ a new car either — they were getting a  _ family _ car. A car, purposefully bought for their growing family.

It was in part three of Amy’s family planning binders (of which there were three  _ thick _ binders). Part one and two of the first binder were pretty simple, finding a good OB, researching preschools and getting onto said preschool waiting lists. This part was probably the most expensive part of their list, apart from actually  _ having _ a baby and paying for everything that baby needs for the first eighteen years of their life. 

Trading in his old, crappy car to get a new, shiny, and hopefully, cool family safe car was a big deal. This was all a big deal — they were making a baby. Jake wishes he could take the DeLorean for a spin just to let young Jake know to get  _ ready _ for the wild ride he would be in for once he joined the ninety-ninth precinct. 

_ Are DeLorean’s kid friendly? _ Probably not.

A quick google search proves his hunch to be correct, but  _ god, that would have been awesome. _ He wishes he could say he’ll miss this car, but trading it in for a car with actual windows that weren’t shower curtains (because he was _ still _ too lazy to get it fixed) will be nice. They had done far too much research into a good car for Jake to be upset about something new and fresh.

Jake briefly wonders what it’ll be like when their kid is born — Boyle hadn’t failed to tell him something great about having kids everyday since he found out they were trying — so now Jake knew all about how good newborn babies smelt. It was weird, but he definitely wanted to compare the new car smell with the newborn baby smell when he could.

He was really turning into Boyle with how excited he was about it all. Amy hadn’t pointed it out since that day in the elevator, but now he could really hear how cringy saying  _ mischief managed  _ was after sex.

Jake wasn’t going to miss the window that wouldn’t roll up properly, or the weird smell coming from his trunk no matter how many times he cleaned it. There were many memories connected to this beaten down car, mostly tied to Amy — but just like proposing to Amy, and deciding to start their family together — there was no doubt in his mind that it was time to give up this car. 

If he still had his mustang, it would be a whole different story. Not that Jake wouldn’t give anything up for Amy and  _ their family  _ in a heartbeat; if he still had the mustang today, the goodbye would be way more bittersweet. Jake already had his cry about it when he sold it so he could payback Terry years earlier, but just remembering the car that changed his life brought a tear to his eye. 

It wasn’t an exaggeration to say that his  _ second day on the job,  _ the day he pushed that perp against his car, had changed his life. Eleven blocks he ran after the guy, and he remembers the feeling of pride encasing him all while the guy called him a pig and told him to rot in hell. Jake doesn’t think he could pull off an eleven block chase today, as much as he hated to admit it, he was entering the older side of adulthood. It makes him shudder to think that he would soon be entering the middle aged man phase. 

It was definitely one of the best days of his life, despite it triggering his crushing debt for years to come which he had barely  _ just _ recovered from. So yeah, that car changed his entire life — it was essentially where he fell in love with Amy. 

He was hardly speaking metaphorically. Their first date, even if it was only for a bet, was in that car. Jake had his first real conversations with Amy that night, and he had the time of his life. Nothing happened between them for a long time after that, and by the time he told Amy that he loved her for the first time, his mustang was long gone. But it still held that special place in his heart for the beginnings of his relationship with the woman who was now his  _ wife  _ and now the  _ future mother _ of their children. 

This was a story he couldn’t wait to tell their kids about. Jake was really going to be _that dad_ who told their children stories about their parents relationship just because he was so in love with Amy. He thought books were overrated compared to the stories he could tell about him and Amy — his stories would well and truly trump any story about a dumb turtle and bunny race. Alas, Amy was his _amazing Amy,_ and had already started adding children’s books to their Amazon wish list because they would 100% be giant book nerds. 

The anticipatory anxiety intensifies as they pull up to the car dealership. Amy seems just as nervously excited as he is, but Jake suspects that she’s mostly thrilled to get rid of the piece of junk he calls a car. They aren’t getting much for the car, only a small fraction of the price would be cut off whatever new car they choose. Savings were savings, so they wouldn’t say no. 

He’s not particularly emotional when he does say goodbye to the car — most of his feelings in the moment were related to picking a new car for their  _ family.  _ Not to mention the swell of emotions that came every time he thought of them having a real baby.

Even if Jake could really go to the past to tell past-Jake all about his future, he knows his past self wouldn’t believe him. Being at a place in his life where he was confident to become a father, and with  _ Amy _ of all people, is something he never thought he would achieve. Not long ago he had felt the same, that he was too damaged from his own experience with his unreliable father to be a good dad himself. Everyday since they had decided to start trying, Jake was doing everything in his ability to prove that he wasn’t going to be like his father, Jake  _ would  _ be better than that. He was still afraid now, at the idea of becoming a father. But with Amy by his side and his epic skills handling Pam and the bomb — it was now a fear he can tackle head on and know he’d be okay in the end. 

Amy made sure to not let go of his hand the entire time at the car dealership, pointing out every back seat to remind him  _ that’s  _ where their baby would sit. As if Jake could forget, he could imagine it clear as day. 

The medium sized champagne coloured sedan isn’t what he expected. They’d done their research on safety features and what-not, but he really hadn’t  _ imagined _ what the car would look like. The test drive goes perfectly — even there, Amy’s hand is still present on his knee and squeezing whenever she felt overwhelmed by it all. Jake could definitely relate, but he had to stick to squeezing the car wheel. 

The colour and make of the car did make him feel a bit older than he really wanted to feel, but Amy was so set on it by the time they got back to the dealership so he knew it was a done deal. It had all their preferences when it came to safety features while still including heated car seats which, Amy had insisted to the saleswoman, was a necessity. The lady had been confused when Jake agreed with a hearty nod; there was probably no woman in the world more passionate about keeping her bottom warm during the winter than Amy Santiago. 

Jake would get used to the lameness the car radiated, because soon enough, the baby inside it would make it much cooler. Besides, the more he thought about it, it was really rebellious car being the colour of an  _ alcohol.  _ This car was  _ cool.  _

At least Amy definitely made it feel good when they left the dealership hand in hand, the keys to their new family car in her hand as she suggested the stop for some champagne of their own before continuing the sensuous journey to parenthood. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i definitely cried while writing this and getting all in jakes feelings about EVERYTHING but yeah i hope you enjoyed reading it as much as i loved writing it. i'm very proud of this one. 
> 
> comments are so greatly appreciated.


	11. let me stay here by your side, that would be enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake deals with own emotions along Amy's side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what up what up i haven't stopped having a meltdown since "trying" aired. but it's a good meltdown but also a lil angsty but its FINEEEEE. pls just enjoy!!
> 
> chapter title from hamilton's "it's quiet uptown"

In any other circumstance Jake would make a note of how cool he looked sliding to Amy on his knees.

Now wasn’t the time however, with the negative pregnancy test on the floor and tears silently falling down her face as it hits them — they’re still not pregnant.

It had been eight months now since they had decided _together_ to start their family — almost a full-term pregnancy’s worth of time. Countless other couples had gone through pregnancy and now had a baby to call their own at this point. Everyone except Jake and Amy.

Their doctor had told them countless times, _it takes time._ Logistically, both heard him when he spoke and seemingly took in what he was saying. But between their jobs packed schedule as of late and the meticulous detail taken to conceive made it more exhausting than they could possibly muster. _It takes time,_ he had said, _you’re both healthy so I’m certain you’ll be pregnant in no time._

They left the doctors that day feeling nothing but confidence. Amy obviously knew they were doing everything right to conceive but to hear it from a medical professional was comforting. Holding his wife now, seated in the middle of their apartment with no clue where to go from there, Jake is convinced that the doctor was lying. Maybe he was some evil villain out to make his and Amy’s life plain difficult and he had bum nards, or God forbid, something was wrong with Amy.

Positivity was supposed to get them through the down times; if one of them was thinking optimistically then that person could get the other out of the stump, and it usually worked. As Amy’s soft cries turn into tired sobs, his heart breaks and he finds himself struggling to find anything positive to say. Everything was negative much like the pregnancy test facing down on the floor.

The early preparation of pre-school waiting lists, new couches and a new car had brought them excitement beyond nothing else. It was so long ago now that Jake couldn’t imagine being a father and now that he was ready, he just wanted to _be_ there, he didn’t want to wait anymore.

Amy had such a profoundly detailed plan and it made no sense why it wasn’t working. She had been working her whole life to have a successful career and a family. It’s only what she deserved — if the smartest, most gorgeous and talented woman in Jake’s (aka the entire) universe couldn’t get pregnant then no one else should be able to.

He knows he’s getting ahead of himself, but they just wanted a baby so bad. Every day that went by, they saw another young family and Jake’s heart would ache longingly after having that with Amy. He saw the way Amy looked at those families, too, and he hated himself for month after month that he couldn’t seem to get her pregnant.

It’s almost impossible not to think about his dad in this moment. Maybe Jake had been right, and he wasn’t built to be a father — maybe he was too broken and that broke his sperm. It took quite a bit of therapy and all the assurance from Amy to convince him otherwise, giving him the confidence to know that he would be a great father but with Amy so discouraged, Jake was struggled to keep these thoughts at bay.

There’s a tear stain on his flannel shirt now. Jake would move the heavens if it meant that this would stop hurting her so bad. He plays with the ends of her ponytail in an extra attempt to soothe her pain, whispering words of comfort as best as he could without his own voice cracking with tears.

 _Along with marriage comes heartache_ , he remembers this from a book he’d read on marriage years before when he was nervous about being a bad husband. Only Amy can judge his ability on being a good husband, and almost two years later he thinks he’s done a good job. He only cares for her opinion anyway, except for the occasion when he also cares about Holt’s opinion.

Jake doesn’t know what to do when her tears finally simmer to quiet hiccups, and she looks up at him with the most loving smile. While his heart was broken that the love of his life was crying, the swell of affection that follows is powerful and overwhelming. He kisses her face until she’s giggling, and her tears are a thing of the past again.

Of course, it’s not forgotten. Hours later, after cheering themselves up with a random comedy and cuddles on their new couch, they have quite a long discussion of what would happen next for them. Amy had already booked them another appointment with the doctor to be certain that her egg health and his sperm were up to speed, and in terms of trying, it was hard to decide.

There was no doubt they wanted to continue trying; at the end of the day they really wanted to have a baby but there was no way they could keep up the excessive and tiring method of temperatures, scheduled sex way too early in the morning, and constant anxiety of _what if_ taking a toll on their mental health.

The choice came down to a less intense method of trying; no matter the hardship, it was important that they didn’t give up. The Santiago-Peralta household were _not_ quitters. So, it meant having sex for the enjoyment of it, with few scheduled sessions to increase their chances. One of the most important rules for conception in the binders was _no stress._ Usually for Amy that meant having every single step planned out and following those steps to an exact accord, but for this instance, they decided that wasn’t the mind frame they should stick with.

By the end of the night with a lot of teamwork, they have a draft for a new binder ready. **_The Peraltiago Way: Baby Making for the Relaxed Individual._** In this version, he insisted that while she rattled off the technical parts of it all, he rewrote it in a less overwhelmingly detailed manner so that they could still follow important steps, _but_ it wasn’t so anal that none of it was enjoyable.

Jake also included his own amazingly kinky section to keep it romantic and _exciting._ He’d taken inspiration from their honeymoon binder, and he knows Amy will be impressed when she sees how much _thicker_ his sex tab was compared to his.

This way it was a wonderful mix of the Amy way _and_ the Jake way.

The next day they both take a sick day to recover from the emotionally exhausting months they had. He takes her to _Bouche Manger,_ recreating their entire first date, all inclusive of their 2-hour drunk walk in the park and walking past his old apartment before ending back at their home.

There’s no talk of babies for the whole day — they were simply together as husband and wife, as a family.

Walking in the door, his heart warms at Amy’s soft gasp at the new binder, new tabs (her favourite of course) and stacks of printed paper to be put together. Jake had asked Rosa to get this prepared for him and being one of the few who knew details of their struggle over the past few months, she quickly obliged.

Amy is quick to put the binder together, it being a second nature to her, and he knows she loves it from her quicker than usual reading speed. Jake only joins her in reading when she’s placing one of the final pages in, a short foreword he wrote in attempt to ease any stress. It’s short and simple, and he hears Amy sniffle, he wraps his arms around her so that he can comfort her how she needs. Jake knew they were in this as a team — it might take them only one month or another year before they conceived but they were in this together.

_Ames,_

_I’m writing this to remind you of my love for you. I don’t know how this second version of the binder will help us to have a baby, but if it causes you any stress, I urge you to read this as much as you need._

_You’re a literal goddess. Your brains and beauty could dictate the entirety of New York and every single person would follow you — I only speak for myself but I’m 98% sure of this._

_No matter the outcome of our life together, you bring me so much joy. Whether that means we have one kid, or many, or even no kids and we’re the old people telling the idiot children to get off our lawns. You and me, we’re a family so no matter what our future holds, I love you._

_As an ethereal genius once told me, “Life is unpredictable, not everything is in our control but as long as you’re with the right people, you can handle anything.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> will i ever stop having a meltdown over this episode???? definitely not but i welcome it with teary eyes and open arms.
> 
> pls leave a comment, share your thoughts! 🥺


	12. safe in my arms when you finally come

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy’s afternoon between Wuntch’s funeral, a wonderfully timed meltdown, and arriving home. 7x07 spoilers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i just had the best birthday ever. Thanks twitter user djgoor!!!!!
> 
> enjoy!!

Amy was frustrated to put it lightly — no matter how high she put the AC on in her car, the sweat was _not_ letting up.

It wouldn’t be long before her entire car was flooded of her sweat. And tears, probably. This wouldn’t be a problem if her stupid body would get pregnant as easily as the rest of the Santiago clan, so she wouldn’t have to stick needles in her back every morning. It didn’t help her frustration that one of her brother’s _just_ announced that their wife was pregnant once again, apparently a _total_ surprise to them.

Amy just wouldn’t get that luck. She was stuck in a stuffy car with soaked with sweat hair and an empty uterus. Surely this wasn’t normal.

She had done her research before agreeing to take these fertility drugs. Possible side effects of course included mood swings, hot flushes among a host of other symptoms, but Amy couldn’t believe that it was normal to the extent of sweating through _layers_ of clothes. It made no sense to her; how she had been taking the drug for almost a month but only _now_ were these symptoms making themselves known?

It sends her into enough of a panic to call her doctor.

Dr. Lowe was a fantastic doctor, she had _multiple_ awards for fertility research, so she was the best of the best _and_ had a great instinct on how to deal with anxious women trying to get pregnant. Her voice is calming, making the loud noises of New York sound like a white noise machine as she asks Amy to describe her symptoms to her.

“Well, I’ve been sweating profusely _all day_ , and intense mood swings, like probably an equal amount of sweat and tears all week… And I know these are normal symptoms, because as you know I did my research, Dr. Lowe, but I really can’t exaggerate enough how much sweat there was.” Amy knows she’s ranting, and probably for nothing but being told that it was completely normal.

She’d heard enough of _completely normal._ It was completely normal that it took so long for her and Jake to make a baby, completely normal to be sweating out of every single pore of her body and completely normal that she wants to kill the bird that just pooped on her car’s windscreen. Why couldn’t the thing that was completely normal thing in her life being the nausea she feels everyday because she’s growing a baby inside her? But _no,_ yet another symptom of this dumb fertility drug.

“That’s definitely not normal, Amy.” Dr. Lowe begins cautiously, causing Amy’s heart rate to spike to an unhealthy level as she waits for her to speak again. “I do have an idea of what might be the problem here… Well, I wouldn’t call it a problem!”

Amy doesn’t know how to process the next words — Dr. Lowe spitting out a theory that she could be pregnant, causing her to experience double the symptoms from the medication. _Amy, you might be pregnant._

The words bounce around her head for a while after she hangs up the phone. Dr. Lowe tells her she’s excited to hear back from her, willing to make time for an appointment as soon as she needs but Amy barely hears any of it as she processes those words. _You might be pregnant._

For months on end, Amy had been convincing herself of symptoms that always lead her to a negative result on a plastic stick but now… Now her own doctor thinks she might be pregnant _._ Amy really didn’t want to face that disappointment again, and _Jake._ She didn’t want to disappoint him yet again. He goes on about how _it’s okay, we’ll get pregnant_ and he’s there, always, to pick her up when she’s down but she knows how he’s feeling.

Amy can see the disappointment on her face every time she came back with a negative result, just to disguise it as fast as he could with his supportive words, but she could see it still hiding it. She sees it in the way he talks about Nikolaj, how badly Jake wants to be a dad, how badly he wanted to add a child into their family. He tries to hide his admiration of the couples with strollers on their nightly stroll together, but she can see it, because it’s exactly how she was feeling.

Every stroller, every toddler and every pregnant woman they passed just a cruel tease of what Amy apparently couldn’t have. She was bad at making babies, as much as Jake reassured Amy that it wasn’t her fault. It was almost constantly in the back of her conscience, nagging at her deteriorating patience.

She probably sits in her car for another minute longer before she resolves to go home and just rip off the band-aid and let the scab bleed all over the place. The duration of the car ride is spent debating whether to tell Jake, so he could be by her side. If she didn’t tell him, then she only had to deal with her own disappointment. An instant after that thought she had made her decision; Jake would stay in the dark for the moment.

Jake doesn’t think much of her weird behaviour when she arrives home. Probably because of the extensive knowledge of the fertility treatment that she made him read about, so he shoots her a simple smile she barely sees as she runs straight for the bathroom. Her hand moves to the medicine cabinet like clockwork, her hands shaking as she takes out the pregnancy test.

 _Keep your expectations low, Amy._ She tells herself, but Dr. Lowe’s words ring in her ears, _Take the test, it’s possible you’re pregnant and overwhelmed by hormones._

The three minutes pass slower than… Fuck, she’s too nervous to think of a good analogy. But it’s a slow moving three minutes she’s sure of. Looking down at the test sitting in the sink, Amy thinks she might pass out.

Two lines. Clear as day. Pregnant. Amy was pregnant. Her uterus wasn’t doomed to be empty forever. Jake was going to be a dad. _They were going to have a baby._

The overwhelming amount of emotions she had felt all day hit her like a fucking train once. Tears were streaming down her face, her hand shaking again as she held the test in her hand and she simply forgot how to breath. She was going to have a baby with the love of her life, after months of struggle and tears, they were going to have a baby. This was her reality.

Amy doesn’t keep track of how long she spends in the bathroom trying to pull herself together, but once she pinches herself and snaps out of her emotional stupor, she’s quickly formulating a creative way to tell Jake. It takes a little while to think it through _and_ compose herself — she had started crying again when she straightened her shirt over her stomach, remembering there was a _baby_ in there and then _again_ as she wondered if their baby would have Jake’s curls — but as she makes her way into their bedroom, her whole plan is thrown out the window.

Jake is cursing Wario once again, and she almost starts crying on the spot again. That man, her _husband_ , was going to be the best dad on the planet. How she gets through telling him without crying is a mystery to her, but now their hug had moved to the bed, she lets the river flow at last. He listens to her anxieties she had been feeling that day, wiping and kissing away every single tear as they come. She does the same for him, heart swelling as his own tears of joy start to pour down his face. Amy couldn’t feel more love for this man even if she tried, his dedication was unmatched.

They come to a point where it was impossible to find the words to express how they were feeling, so outside of booking appointments and taking out her pregnancy binder with a light layer of dust on it, they mostly just smile at each other. That and kissing, there’s a lot of that. Kissing is interrupted by Charles knocking their door in the middle of the night, who makes sure to mention that he tried his best to hold himself back when he woke up and apparently just _knew._ But he’s respectful enough of the space they need, so he’s soon gone, and Jake is quickly back to kissing Amy.

Falling asleep that night after he talks to her flat stomach for a half hour is otherworldly. Jake makes sure to make her feel more loved than ever, through words, kisses and all. It’s not at all what she expected at the start of the week when she found out that Madeline Wuntch had died, but she couldn’t be happier with the turn of events.

They were finally getting their half-Jake, half-Amy. And as Charles had screamed, their little Peraltiago baby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahahhahahaha im not gonna stop crying about this episode hahahahah screw uni lectures
> 
> THEY'RE GONNA BE PARENTS OKAY IM ALLOWED TO CRY
> 
> pls leave all ur thoughts and feelings so we can cry together 🥺

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments are always so appreciated!


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